Received an rejection email from iras. Well, thank God it happened fast and before my grad trip n conference! Now i can take the chance of this conference to seek for God's assurance in this area n trust that He will soon open another door for me:) i think the struggling part within me is the pressure that i faced from people..and the real emotions within me. Even if i can tell them i got rejected, i would want to display an image that im okay with it so they wouldnt feel awkward to need to give me consoling words which are typical n sometimes made me feel worse. Best is im rly okay with it n everything shd b fine. Im not sure if in feeling rly okay cus i didnt really dwell too long thinking n grieving(lol) about this. I dun think im running away, i just really wan to seek God's comfort n peace that this is not the right job that He wants me to go, not that im being opportunistic or optimistic..
But tears jus flowed down a few moments after i received the email, cant control leh even if i tried not to think about it cus i had to pick up mom from work n didnt wan her to see. lol. Though still kinda teared for awhile when driving, i felt instantly better after listening to a few praise n worship songs:) God is good. Plus im too tired, i kept dozing off while waiting for mom to come out. 那时候心有一点裂了。
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