my first

It was my first time leading worship ytd during lg... yuzhu n I were to plan for lg ytd, so we included worship. and i sort of self-arrowed myself with a little probe from my shep to lead worship. lol. From mon till wed evening, I felt so paralyzed...with uncertainties, fear and lack of understanding that I couldn't do other things thats on my list, other than to read up on how to lead worship and pray for God to open my mind and heart and also comfort me as I stepped out of that little comfortable bubble of mine. Its really hard to step out of comfort zones, my heart is just so disobedient and its so unsettled. but I know that if I don't ever step out of any comfort zones, willingly or not, I will never learn more things, grow and do more things for God and allow Him to expand my capacity.

I never spent so much time preparing for this before.. lol I took a really long long time to settle my heart down, to communicate with my lg's guitarist and discuss and rehearse, to find out which key I'm comfortable to sing in, what kind of songs, what sequence, what is it that God wants me to speak to edify the lg, what God is speaking to meee .. etc etc Dx but on a positive note, if i don't ever put myself in such training ground now; at the season where I believe God wants me to grow in His word and also build stronger roots n foundation so I can stand firm when the thunderstorm season is here, when i start work all the more I wouldn't have the time and attention to focus as much as I am able now. lol.

Having worried so much n feeling anxious, during the last 2 hours before my lg, i simply sat down to eat my favourite soup spoon n drink my favourite green tea latte from starbucks. haha n i just wan to seek assurance that God is there with me and I need not feel afraid, praying for myself to put my trust in Him that He will lead me through. Thank God for david playing the guitar as well, who even skyped me near midnight to rehearse once through with me and came down earlier to practise with me before lg, and still had to rush back to work after worship. gave me a lot of pointers as well. Everything was much better than i thought it would be...praise God! :) in fact I didn't feel any nervousness and I'm very sure this peace and comfort can only comes from God Himself, just like during my uni days when I was to present projects or tutorials to the class :) He gave me calmness and assurance because i trust that He will be there with me and walk alongside me. hehehe. yay! I felt so refreshed after that :D though the last part wasn't well planned and executed :( guessed my concentration was too affected in preparing for the worship that I didn't do the other part well. Its a good learning experience, nonetheless :) hope i can do even better for God next time