Today had prayer meet and on my left was Cassandra, currently working in EY tax. I was worshipping God and singing as usual, then i suddenly thought of tax and the time when i was offered an interview opportunity when I was in Tibet. I was thinking at that time had I not been in Tibet I may have gotten that position. But it never occur to me and think why does God arranged all these to happen? Seemingly opening a door for me but deliberately closed it. And then the OCBC job came to my mind as well. The one that I went for an interview, and got an OFFER, but I rejected.
These opportunities may come and I may regard them as opened doors, but it doesn't necessarily meant that God is the one who opened these doors, or that these opened doors are meant for me.
These two incidents brought me to a realization during worship today. I suddenly figured out that God may be using these two incidents to COMFORT me, because I was really downcast when I received my IRAS rejection and my confidence level really hit rock bottom.
I thought that IRAS could be a pretty easy place for me to be hired. I was too full of myself. and then i got rejected. That caused me to doubt my own capabilities and I questioned myself.
1) EY tax - I was called when I was in Tibet to go for an interview because they saw my profile and was interested to hire me. I did not submit any application for that position, I merely set up an account in their website.But in the end because I was overseas and they couldn't manage to interview me, the position was filled up because they had to start work on 1 July. I didn't see the value that they bothered to consider me n hire me, but I focused on the fact that they are in desperate need to quickly fill up the positions so they can start training the new hires.
2)OCBC-long story short, I went for 2 interviews one shot and got offered that day itself. As usual, I focused on the fact that they need people to start on their work the following week so they are desperate to look for people, instead of acknowledging that I really have the capabilities and talents they are looking for to fulfill this position.
Today I reflected upon these again and finally realized that God was trying to show me through these two incidents that I actually have the qualities, I am actually capable, I am actually attractive to these employers. He wanted to comfort me about my IRAS rejection to take heart and trust in Him, that I am capable not only in the world's eyes, but definitely capable and precious in His eyes :) I was very touched by this realization when I began to understand God's heart for me, what He has been trying to do in my life. How sad He must have felt when I didn't feel comforted during that period when He meant to comfort me -.- haha! but nothing is ever late! God is so awesome in His wonderful ways :D
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