two posts in a day. i tink i too many to write liao. ai..today had my first pe lesson. mus run as a whole class one. apparently im the fattest in my class n lagged behind, oso lagging the whole class. i tink the pe teacher wans me to feel the pressure or guilt so i would run n catch up with them. but due to my physical n body condition, i would faint if i push myself. :/ so if tis goes on for the nex lesson my mom gonna bring me see a doc. ai.. so pathetic. im not making myself sound pitiful or pathetic. im jus feeling so low morale or low self esteem i thought i nvr would raise my head up ever again after tis pe lesson. im feeling all emo todae. inside me. but im struggling to hold my emotions. until now. thats why i wan to thank hawhawhaw jiejie. if shes not available i tink i wld be sadded that im all alone.

now i felt so sorry to my class im unable to run as fast as they could. just because im fat. im fat. i wun sae infront of people im fat . becus i noe im fat. n if there are fatter people infront of me, i oso wun sae i m fat. becus i noe exactly how they feel if its me. ive encountered this countless times but im still trying hard to overcome. i was glad people in my class din react so strongly todae for pe. but i bet they would wen taking height n weight n if they peep at those weights or purposely go see.

my self esteem. how to i increase that. even if im not fat. but the fact is im. IM. ai...