everyone thinks my results are good jus becus my overall mark is gd. but i wan the L1R5! so saddeddd.

saddedd

sadded

sadddeddd

~~~~ :(

pae sch.. sad ~~ :( sadded. first day. strangers all around. im such an ass. i shd have taken higher chinese in sec 2. i shd have beg for more points in my cca . jus one point away to 2 bonus. i shd have invest more time in studies. i shd have i shd have! all those shiet. i shd have my own mind. i noe its jus pae and its not olvl. pae is important to me. !!sadded. what shall i do. seeing my peers getting into good schools. if my result come out bad (NO!), ppl will think how i predict that they will be thinking.

~~~~~~~~ :( how am i to go for my holiday.with this freakin ass mood. my target dropped day by day. perhaps i might as well go poly in the end. take up accounts or finance or wadever tats it. u see poly has a lesser risk of retaining. while jc, once u fail ur gp paper, which i most likely will, u get retain... poly also has lesser stress than in jc. poly can wear home clothes and dye hair.poly i can go to the course i like i presume.like calculating stuffs. then i dunid to face those languages. poly oni last year then got napfa test. jc i most likely will die during pe. like how newspapers reported on numerous deaths when running 2.4km. i might be the nex one. who knows. i oni know i dun haf tat motivation to get out and jog.

i dun like ppl to pity me or look down on me or keep saying i can do it and all those.i understand myself best. i noe whr i stand. i dreamt i had a 15 or 16 point for l1r5 and that dream had colours. cc told me coloured dreams are real. i rmb wearing my green watch while holding on to a paper. with a big printing L1R5 : 15/16 (cant rmb)

im going to prepare for the worst. i knew i din do well for humanities. but pls dun fail me. if i fail i wld be dead. i rather receive my results and haf that WOW impression and (pretend) that i duno i cld get such ' brilliant' results than to have a OMG impression in a bad way, as in having too much confidence, taking ppl's advice tat i can do it and break down in the hall infront of ppl. i wun be tat vulnerable duh. u ppl wun get to see tis. :) which im glad to say.

im glad home is well again.last minute bookings were made so we cant get to the place we wanted. awww. anw. gah

sadded. this is NOT an emo post. ha. its a SAD post. duh. isnt it the same? i doubt so. DOUBT. wad a strong word i see frequently.